Life Updates

Happy 2020, everyone! It's been less than a month since my last post, which is a step up from how I've been doing! Things just get so busy here and by the time I remember I had something to write about, I've been too tired to get to it! Now however, I really wanted to make sure I put my thoughts into words.

Today marks the five month anniversary of my moving to Japan and it's so hard to believe it has already been that long! The time is absolutely flying by. You may remember me mentioning in earlier posts that I initially had a rough start coming here. I wanted to go home immediately. The long days, new information, bad hotel food, and massive amounts of people in one place played off my anxiety and I felt like I was already set up to fail.

I have struggled with anxiety my entire life. This isn't something I hide because it isn't anything to be ashamed about. It doesn't have anything to do with myself as a person, it's just a deficiency in my body's chemicals that makes me overthink things or makes me think the worst of situations. I had finally reached a point in my life where everything was under control, or as well under control as it could be. I had lived as a responsible young adult since I was about 17 and started working. I held down jobs for lengthy periods of time (2 years, 5 years, and about 1 year right before I came here) and I’ve never been a flighty person that couldn’t be counted on. My point is, I learned over the years how to handle myself with low-dosage, medicinal assistance and have learned how my own mindsworks to be able to talk it out of its crisis modes. I really hadn’t been sure I was going to be able to do that this time.

But I DID, and for that, I am so thankful. This experience is turning out to be one of the most rewarding things I have ever done. There are still rough days. Days when students don’t behave, when a class may not have gone the way we wanted, days when I look around my apartment and get melancholy not seeing my family, friends, or most importantly (sorry mom and dad) my fur babies! Right now, things feel a bit sad because of Christmas and New Year’s. But I am pushing through because it is not a homesickness that makes me want to turn tail and run. It is a small melancholy that reminds me that I am doing something I never would have thought I could and that, while I miss some things back in America, I am content where I am now. 

All that being said, I would also like to also make the following announcement to everyone. I have been keeping it under wraps since I was heavily debating with my friends here, myself, and family and friends back home.

But I have finally come to the solid decision that I will be staying in Japan for another year!

It was a difficult decision to make for me personally. Even though Japan has always been my dream and a country I have been in love and obsessed with, I originally came only wanting to stay for one year. Especially after how rockily I started off. However, that was before I started going to classes regularly, really got to know my kids, made amazing friends, and just fell even more in love with the country than ever before. Five months have already flown by and I’m not sure if another quick 7 months will be enough to experience everything and do everything I want to do.

I know my decision is hard for some people back home (I’m looking at you, mom!). But I think this is a decision I had to make for myself. Two years is a drop in the bucket compared to how long people live and I want to be able to share my experiences and have wonderful memories and stories to tell.

So that’s it for this post! This update was more about being honest about my life here instead of a cultural or experience post. There will be more updates coming and one in early February that will be a massively exciting one for me because I will be doing something I’ve always wanted to do but never thought I could! I'm very excited to share it with you all so please keep an eye out!